Motherhood and Marriage

One of my biggest weaknesses is balancing motherhood with my marriage. My instinct is to always put my kids first, as I am sure it is for most moms. But did you know that was never God’s intention? We are supposed to put our husbands first, above all else! After all, he will be the one still there when your children leave the nest, and if you have neglected you marriage for eighteen plus years, the day your kids leave will be a brutal wake up call.

     I’m not saying ignore your kids to focus solely on your husband, of course our children need our time, attention, and love. But so does your husband. In this busy season of life called motherhood, where all of your energy and time geos into taking care of your kids, don’t forget to set aside some time daily, maybe weekly, to focus on your marriage.

     For my husband and I, this is a work in progress, as I am sure it is for many couples. I am with the kids all day, everyday, and as soon as they go to bed I want to get into bed too and catch up on the dvr! Sorry honey, Real Housewives is on! But if I could just turn off the tv for half an hour and simply ask him about his day, open up a dialogue, that simple act would allow us to stay connected through the kid chaos!

     Y’all want to hear something crazy? Next month, my husband and I are taking our first weekend trip without the kids since we had Walker. Walker is two and half years old and Nora is fifteen months and my husband and I are just not taking some long overdue time to ourselves. Like I said, my biggest weakness is handing over my mama responsibilities to someone else to put my husband first. And yet I know how important it is and how much needed this trip is, it’s still so hard to leave my kids. Also, my in-laws are watching the kids for the weekend, so just a little added anxiety, anyone else? I am already doing mental exercises, preparing myself to just let go! I tell myself on repeat, “my rules will probably be broken, but the kids will be fine, they love them, focus on your husband”. Easier said than done, but I know we need this trip.

     Alone time is so important, but date nights are kind of like workouts. You never regret working out, despite how hard it is to get it done. You will never regret a date night. Make time for your husband.

     The bible preaches: Love your wife, respect your husband. As a wife and mom, we crave acts of love.  Your husband on the other hand, demands respect. Respect his work. Respect his parenting. Respect his hobbies, etc. One of the worst things you can do is verbally put your husband down in front of other people. Personally I am super conscious of this. I want to build him up around others, praise his dedication to work, and his commitment to taking care of our family. But behind closed doors, it’s easy to let myself slip and start taking jabs at his parenting or lack of helpfulness around the house. I’m a work in progress, but aren’t we all? In the grand scheme of things, your husband is your life partner, so treat him as such. Respect your husband.

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